Sunday, August 5, 2012

With This Ring, I Thee...Ummm...

No, sadly this entry does not mean that my fantasy man has put a ring on it. I am still a single lady, and therefore eligible for and required to dance to Beyonce's song at any and all weddings. But my relationship status is another story altogether. Another story could also be my complete lack of dancing skill, which ensures that during that song I have no chance of giving up my single lady status. But I digress.

The ring I am talking about is a very special one to me. I bought it with the gift certificate I won after I won the local Biggest Loser contest 5 years ago. That ring represented to me one of the the very best parts of myself. This was the part of me that believed I could accomplish anything if I set my mind to it and worked hard. It may be corny. It very probably is corny since I can be a very sappy person. I just usually don't share my sappiness with others. For instance, when reading the ending of one of my favorite books by my absolute favorite author Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper, I always have to be alone every single time because I sob like a baby. Off subject, but fun random fact about Kristen! Anyway, for a while, I wore that ring all the time. But after a while, different things started happening to get me off track. I stopped exercising. I ate a lot of crap. And obviously, I gained weight. At first, I didn't wear the ring because I didn't feel like I was worthy of it while behaving like I was. But after awhile, I didn't wear it because I couldn't physically get it on my finger. It stayed in my jewelry box, waiting for me to get a clue.

You would think maybe me not being able to shove my ring on my fat sausage finger might be a catalyst for change. But it wasn't. And if I have learned anything, it is that you can't really successfully lose weight if you are not truly ready to change. And for a long time, I wasn't ready. I read a quote I really liked (surprise, surprise...what quote DON'T I like?) that said, "Being overweight is hard. Losing weight is hard. Pick your hard." I had to reach the point where staying overweight was harder for me than losing weight. Six weeks ago, I finally reached that point. I can't say there was some dramatic moment where I decided to lose weight. It might make a better story if there was. But this is real life. I was just sick of being fat and ashamed of myself. I was finally sick enough of it to actually do something about it.

When I decided to take control, I took my ring out of hibernation. Until I am able to wear it on my finger, it will stay on a chain around my neck. I guess for a while people will just have to believe I only own one necklace, because the only way this ring is coming off is if someone pries it off my cold, dead neck. Hmmm, that didn't sound as good as the phrase "cold, dead fingers." Here it is now (sorry, no bonus cleavage today):

 I am proud to wear my ring now because I am proud of the positive steps I am taking. I'm not ashamed of myself anymore. Do I believe my ring has mystical powers that will causes me to lose weight? No, but that would be so awesome! My ring is like a little talisman to me, a reminder of the person I am capable of being and am becoming everyday. Here is where my ring will be soon, right back where it belongs:


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