Ode to Carbohydrates

So one of the hardest things for me has been cutting back on my carbs, especially at night. The carbs I crave are not the good virtuous carbs. I'm talking about the bad carbs, bursting with white flour, trans fat, and premature aging. Carbs and I have a long complicated relationship, which I will now express to you in a deeply heart-felt poem. Or a poem I hope is a wee bit funny. Yeah, the second one definitely.

Ah, my carbohydrate friends
How I love you without end
Bread, pie, cobbler, cake
So many things that I want to bake!
The evils of white flour
Against you I have no power
I wish I could hate you foods with trans fat
But the truth is that I would eat you by the vat
Tacos, pizza, burgers, fries
Oh, the fat kid in me cries!
Hypertension, diabetes, fatty liver
My carb friends are such givers
Oh my carb friends, how I love thee
But the culinary delights you give are not free
I know I cannot have you in my belly
Or it will shake like a bowlful of jelly


Oh yeah, my poetry and I are definitely going places lol.

Weigh-in #5...KK's Killin' It!

This week I lost 6.6 pounds! It almost feels like my body is really eager to get this weight off, so it is cooperating with me fully. I am happy with my number this week, but of course Gertrude (bad head voice) is not. Logically, here is what I know: My weight loss goal every week is 5 lbs. This week I lost 1.6 pounds more than my goal. I should be completely thrilled! And for the most part I am. But Gertrude wants more. She tells me "6.6 pounds isn't good enough! Why didn't you lose 10?" I know I can't listen to that part of me. There is a difference between wanting to excel and listening to Gertrude. 5 pounds a week is a healthy goal for me. I've lost massive amounts of weight per week before, and that didn't work out for me. Moderation is key.

My nutrition is pretty much on point, although parts of it are harder than others. For example, I don't know if I will ever be a breakfast person, much less make it the biggest meal of my day. But I have been brainwashed by countless TV commercials over the years telling me "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!" And unlike most TV commercials, that is actually the truth! (Although the rest of the commercial advertising cereal consisting of massive amounts of sugar as part of a healthy breakfast is not quite so true.) So I have been shoving food in my piehole every morning like a good girl, a healthy mix of protein, carbs, dairy, and veggies. Another thing I need to watch out for is being a little too lenient with my calories right after a weigh-in. Nothing major, and nothing I would even really qualify as "cheating," but I still need to correct this habit in order to maximize my weight loss. Like for example, right after a weigh-in I may be more apt to go maybe 100-200 over my calorie goal because I rationalize that I have plenty of time left to lose my weight. So one of my goals this week is not to do this.

Weigh-In Week 4

I lost 4 pounds this week. And again, my bad little voice (Gertrude) is talking to me, saying that that is not good enough. Even though I know that is it good enough, considering I have had 3 great weight loss weeks in a row. But I can definitely see where the 2 days I took off cardio due to my heel hurt me. I am back doing cardio now, but I still don't feel like the intensity is there because honestly, it is agonizing just to walk. I have had a lot of blisters in my day with all the soccer I have played, but this has to be the most painful one I have ever had. I don't even know if I would call it a blister, just a raw, bloody mess where multiple layers of skin have been ripped off. I know you are all happy to see that mental image. Plus, tomorrow I start my new job and I can't wear sandals to that. I will have to have the back of a shoe rubbing on my heel. I must focus on walking normally so my new co-workers do not start off by calling me Gimpy.

Oh well, enough belly-aching. Time to get crack-a-lackin'! I'm trying a new pool work-out I found in a magazine. Sadly, I can't wear my BodyBugg in the pool so I will just have to estimate the calories burned.

My Heel's A-Painin' Me

I haven't weighed all week...so proud lol. I'm changing my weigh-in day to Wednesday instead of Tuesday because I joined a support group of fellow Biggest Loser hopefuls and Wednesday is when they weigh in. I just cannot say enough about how great an experience my Biggest Loser audition was. The people there were really amazing.

Honestly, I am not sure how this week's weigh-in will be. My routine has been a bit off this week, and that makes me nervous. I have not been able to do any cardio for couple of days now due to a gigantic extremely raw blister on my heel (I will never wear those shoes again!). I tried putting some moleskin over top of the blister, which helped some, but as soon as I started walking it was still pretty miserable. I have done strength training and ab work instead, but I really can tell a difference in how I feel without doing cardio. I have such a surplus of energy when I do my cardio, and without it, not so much. I miss it!

I am still happy for the most part with how I am doing food-wise, but I have been freakishly hungry today! It is really a mystery why because it's not like I was too low on calories. I actually went about 100 over what I normally eat. It wasn't thirst either, or boredom. It wasn't a craving. I was perfectly happy just eating some cottage cheese. I was truly hungry. So I'm really not sure what the correct plan of action is in that situation. I have really been trying to listen to what my body is telling me, so if I am truly hungry, should I eat even if that puts me a bit over my calorie budget? Or should I just tough it out?

Looking Back

I've been gathering up old pictures of me at my thinnest in preparation for my Biggest Loser audition tomorrow. Although when I say thinnest, it is really more like "merely overweight, not obese." Because the thinnest I have ever been in my adult life was 170 pounds 5 years ago. I would kill to be that size again, but then all I could think was how fat I still was. Usually when I look at these old pictures, I get depressed. And this time I was a little sad still thinking how far I have to go to even get to that point again, much less my goal weight. The bigger part of me felt hopeful though. I have faith that I can look like those pictures again, and even smaller! I think I can believe that because the way I am losing weight right now is a sustainable and reasonable way. I know that even if I don't make Biggest Loser, I am still going down the right path. But I am still super excited for my audition!

Weigh-In Week 3

It's Tuesday, which means WEIGH-IN DAY! The scale gods have smiled on me yet again...8 pounds lost for week 3. I'm pretty thrilled with that number. I guess my metabolism has woken up after years of being a hibernating bear. I'm trying to limit myself to weighing once a week since I know dealing with day-to-day fluctuations in weight could drive me crazy, but I'm not having much success with that. I tried hiding the scale under the bathroom sink, hoping I would be too lazy to get it out to weigh everyday, but apparently my curiosity outweighs my laziness. It's just that I work so hard to lose weight every day that I want to know right away if it is showing up on the scale. But of course there are going to be days the scale doesn't move or maybe goes up 0.2 pounds (gasp!) and I don't want to be frustrated by that. Hmmm...maybe I'll try twice weekly as a compromise? And yes, I realize the scale does not measure things like how much better I feel and how much more endurance I am getting, but it is nice having a tangible measurement of my progress.

I'm also having trouble with convincing myself that eating fewer calories than I am supposed to is a bad thing. I know restricting your calories more than you are supposed to will eventually lead to your metabolism slowing down. I know that in my head. But I am a stubborn, stubborn girl, and the all or nothing voice in my head* (let's call that voice Gertrude...ugly name, ugly voice) keeps saying, "If 1200 calories is good, then 1000 calories is better!" No, no Gertrude...food is fuel! I need it. Oh, well. I'm trying to shut her up, but she has had a nice home in my head for quite a while, and she is not anxious to leave. Progress, not perfection.

*Please note, Gertrude is a normal voice. She does not represent schizophrenia or multiple personalities. If I start going by the name Gertrude or invent other names, feel free to stage an intervention.

Losing Weight, KK Style

Hey, whoever is reading this. Is anyone reading this? Of course they are. I'm about to burst out on the blog scene! lol Anyway, many of you probably know that I am trying to lose quite a bit of weight and get healthier. I've already lost 27 pounds so far in 3 weeks and I am feeling great! But I have tried to lose weight before and have usually fallen off the wagon, so to speak, after a few weeks. I do not want to fail again, and so I am trying to make myself accountable to other people besides myself. I believe my problem before in this area, and in many others in my life, is that I am too extreme. I have always been all or nothing. I am either completely sedentary and eating crap, or eating only lettuce and canned crab and exercising for 6 hours a day (yeah, true story). Obviously, not a long term solution. This time, I am keeping it reasonable. I know 27 pounds in 3 weeks sounds extreme, but when you have as much weight to shed as I do, it really is quite reasonable. My hope is that this blog is a place where I can post about my successes and failures, as well as funny things that happen along the way. And I would love it if others would share with me their own advice and experience, and also let me know if I seem to be veering off course. I apologize for the lack of high-tech stuff on this blog, but I am slightly technologically retarded. I know this will be a long road ahead, but I am so excited for it!