Wednesday (weigh-in day): Okay, I've got to make sure I'm ready. Went to the bathrooom? Check. Clothes off? Check. Shoes off? Hahaha, please. Like I'm that much of an amateur that I wear shoes to weigh! Shoes weigh at least 20 lbs! No food or drink yet? Check. Hmmmm...I still have my Bodybugg and earrings on. Better take those off. They could weigh like 5 lbs!
Step on the scale. Look straight ahead. Do not look down until the weight registers...I said do not look down! (Weight pops up) Okay, good job! Wait, better weigh again just to be sure. And a third time to be extra sure...no, you are not an obsessive freak! Go ahead and leave the scale out on the floor. Obviously you have enough self control to not weigh until next Wednesday. Obviously!
Thursday: I swear that scale is staring at me, pleading with its little imaginary puppy eyes for me to get on it. No! Have some self-control!
Friday: Wonder how I'm doing? I had my high calorie day yesterday...OMG what if I gained from that? But wait, I worked out extra hard. Well, I think I need to weigh just to see where I stand. I mean, I need to see if I should make adjustments. But I had a huge glass of water this morning. That might make me gain at least 2 lbs. No Kristen, that's just the crazy talking. Okay, I'm going to weigh. (Weight pops up) What?!? I only lost 0.4 lbs so far. Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap. Well, guess who's getting an extra work-out today?
Saturday: I really want to weigh again. I have to make sure I've turned things around. No Kristen, you said you would only weigh once a week. The scale must go hide under the sink so it doesn't stare at me every time I'm in the bathroom.
Sunday: I hear the scale calling my name from its place of exile under my sink! No, I will not give in to scale temptation! I do not have a scale addiction. I can stop weighing anytime I want. Yeah, right...
Monday: I have to know! It's my last chance to see if I am getting it right before Wednesday. (Weight pops up) Yay! Right on track. But now I've ruined the suspense for Wednesday. Who cares? My need to know is greater than my need for suspense.
Tuesday: Duh, you can't weigh today. It would be psycho to weigh today when you weigh tomorrow. And you know you have a nice, healthy, non-psyho relationship with the scale.
Tuesday night: (Speaking to the scale through the cabinet door under the sink) "You better be nice to me tomorrow. There are much worse places I could hide you than under the sink."
Wednesday again: (Does crazy weigh-in ritual) CELEBRATION! See, I lost my weight. No reason to act all crazy over the scale. Just put away the scale until next week...