Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Houston, we have a problem

If I were writing a purely inspirational, feel-good blog, I would choose this moment to tell you that I was a good little healthy solider over the holidays. I maintained my usual habits and exercised every day for 5 hours! Christmas food had no hold over this super-human weight loss machine! And all of you might secretly hate me a tiny bit and also think I am somewhat of a freak for exercising 5 hours a day.  But most of you know, this is not primarily that type of blog. Sure, I love sharing the good things that happen and when I do well, but most of all, this blog is an honest blog. I've got to share the set-backs too.

The plain truth is, I underestimated the allure of holiday eating. I thought my healthy habits were so firmly engrained by now that not even the power of of a delicious holiday sausage ball could derail them. I did do pretty well through-out the month until about maybe Christmas Eve. I practiced moderation. I had a few treats, but maintained my regular diet the rest of the time. But I said Christmas Eve was my cheat day. I had french fries for the first time in months. But I still kept it somewhat in check that day. I had low cal dressing. I got a lean sirloin at dinner. Then came Christmas day, and with it, a sausage egg and cheese casserole and cinnamon buns. I thought, "It's Christmas! I can have some if I want!" So I did...along with a lot of other crap that day. Even then, the week could have been salvaged if I had gone back to normal. But what happened is that my family and I went out of town to visit relatives. It started with a ham dinner and went downhill from there. I would know in my head what would be the reasonable things and amounts to eat were, but I quickly squashed those thoughts down in favor of shoving more wings and deviled eggs in my piehole. And every night, my stomach would let me know just how much it did not appreciate this treatment. What's worse is that midweek, I (and half my family) caught the flu. So then, even though I was all prepared with work-out clothes and my ipod, any thoughts of actually working out went right out the window. I felt so bad, I also had thoughts of throwing my whole body right out that same window. 

If you read my weigh-in updates on Facebook, you may be thinking, "You couldn't have been that bad. After all, you lost 1.2 lbs!" And herein lies the sole benefit of having the flu. No matter how much crap you have eaten during the week, you too can still lose weight by sweating it out via fever and burning mega calories through coughing! Hmmm, maybe I should patent this weight loss method? So yes, I did indeed lose weight this week, but it's not exactly anything to be proud of.

So here I sit on January 2, ready to turn things around, as probably 99% of people on this planet say they will. I'm full of New Year's motivation, but incredibly frustrated because I'm still pretty sick and working out is not even an option right now. Well, I guess it would be an option if my goal was to hack up a lung and take a fun trip to the emergency room. But weirdly enough, my being reasonable and not working out right now is evidence itself that I really have made a change. Example: I've written before about being in a weight loss competition a few years ago. During the contest, I got walking pneumonia. Combined with my asthma (yeah, my lungs obviously aren't the greatest), I should have been nowhere near the gym then. I couldn't accept that though, and I went to the gym anyway. I kept working out even when I was wheezing and coughing. I kept working out until I had a crazy asthma attack, passed out, and then had to be wheeled out of the gym on a stretcher. Yeah, let's just say I wasn't really big on moderation back then. So my listening to my body right now and taking it easy is a really big step for me.

In the past, I may have used my set-backs in the past week or so as an excuse to give up. And that would just be really sad. I have perspective now. I can look at what has happened and be realistic about it. Instead of throwing in the towel and thinking I can never get back on track, I know that this past week was just that--ONE WEEK. What is one week in the scheme of things? Not very much at all. At the same time, I won't make excuses for myself either, because just like being too hard on myself, not holding myself accountable is dangerous as well. The truth is that I didn't do a good job this past week. I let myself go a little crazy. I acknowledge that fact, and I am moving on. I'm getting well, eating healthy again, and making up my triathlon training schedule. I got great triathlon stuff over Christmas and I can't wait to use it. I'm excited to be back on track for 2013, hitting my goal weight this year, and completing my first triathlon!

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