Tomorrow is my 29th birthday. It's hard to believe that this will be my last year in my 20's, when it seems like just yesterday I was celebrating my 20th birthday. I've always had kind of mixed feelings towards my birthdays. I've always been mostly happy about them, but there was one tiny bit of disappointment every single year. It's not related to getting older either (although the steadily decreasing amount of times I've gotten carded lately is somewhat alarming sometimes). I've said that my weight has always affected every facet of my life, and my birthday was no exception. For some reason, my birthday was the date I got fixated on about losing weight. Every year, I would think, "This is the year I'm going to change. This is the year I'll lose the weight for good. I'm going to lose x lbs by my birthday next year." And every single year after, that tiny voice in the back of my head would remind that I had failed in this goal yet again. The problem was that I had no plan for achieving this goal. It was just something I wanted to happen like magic. It was the same old thing year after year.
Well, this year everything was different. This time last year I was about 3 months into my journey. I had made significant progress, but I was still obese. My goal for the coming year was no different than before in that I still wanted to lose weight, but I had a plan to actually make it happen. It means more to me than I can possibly say to realize that I have finally succeeded in this goal. On my 29th birthday, I will be smaller than I have ever been as an adult. I've accomplished things I could only dream about last year. I have more confidence in myself than I can ever remember having.
So for my 29th year, of course I want to finish losing the rest of my weight (duh). But more than that, I want this year to be all about stepping out of my comfort zone. I've played it safe so much of my life because of my weight. I didn't want to risk looking stupid or drawing attention to myself when I already felt like I had a huge bulls-eye on my back due to how heavy I was. I don't want to be that girl anymore. I've changed so much for the better this past year in so many different ways. I want this next year to be full of even more positive changes. I want to get to my 30th birthday next year and have no regrets. I may have had some not so great years in my 20's, but I want to know that I finished that decade up with a bang. Because as we all know, it's not about how you start. It's about how you finish.
So with that in mind, I will be kicking off my year of stepping out of my comfort zone by going surfing for the very first time tomorrow. Will I look stupid? I can pretty much guarantee that. But I can honestly say that I don't care. I'm going to be out doing something totally awesome that I never thought I could even attempt before. I'm going to know that I finally am embodying the person that I always wanted to be. That feeling is worth looking stupid any day. Pictures to come next week, no matter how embarrassing they may be.