Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Denial is not just a river in Egypt (insert groan here)

Sad news to start out with...according to the surfing instructor, the water was too rough for our lesson last Saturday. So it had to be rescheduled for this coming Sunday. Therefore, there are no humiliating pictures to show yet. It will just be something for you all to look forward to next week!

I thought about waiting until then for my next post, but there was something I needed to address before then. You guys know that I try to keep it real up in here (okay, I said that in my head and it worked better there than written out) and the truth is that I've been having a "blah" week. I mean, it's really no surprise. Last week was awesome, and this week is just back to normal. It's normal for it to be a bit of a letdown. It just feels like everything is a struggle for me. Part of it is the ongoing dilemma I have with "cheat" food. I ate what I wanted on my birthday. I had a pasta dish for dinner and an absolutely delicious made-from-scratch pound cake (Thanks Mom!) as my birthday cake. But here's my problem. Part of me thinks it is important to have days every now and then when I eat what I want so I do not feel deprived. I think it's an important part of moderation. But another part of me thinks I maybe shouldn't have these days because of what comes after. After cheat days, it's hard for me to eat healthy. It feels like a sacrifice, when normally it feels like a favor I am doing for my body. It's also hard for me to work out because my body isn't used to that kind of food. It just sits there in my stomach like a leaden food baby. So I don't know if cheat days are worth it for me. I haven't figured this one out yet.

I'm trying to tough out this period of low motivation. I'm in fake it till you make it mode. I'm trying to force myself to do everything like I normally do, and I know eventually that motivation will return. I'm also trying not to take my feelings out on my alarm clock. After all, it's not the alarm clock's fault that I feel like turning into the Hulk when it goes off at 5 am. I think what's important here is that I acknowledge the problems I am having with low motivation. It's okay for that to happen. It's nothing to be ashamed of, as I believed before. The only way low motivation can really harm me is if I decided to be in denial about it. It's only when you acknowledge a problem that you can focus on the solution. Hey, I didn't even steal that last nugget of wisdom from anyone. It was a Kristen original!

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