You just never know when hoarding will pay off

So this week was makeover week on The Biggest Loser. I freely indulge in all the inspirational corniness that comprises makeover week every single season. I just can't get enough of it. What can I say? It's moving to me to see people finally really see the results of all their hard work. And yes, I know parts are probably manufactured by producers and blah, blah, blah, but the fact remains that these people have changed their lives and they are celebrating it. It also made me supremely happy that for the first time, I am not just applauding their success while wishing I could have my own. I have my own success!

Naturally, seeing makeover week also made me want to go out and buy lots of new clothes. Sadly, since I am not rich (and it would be stupid since I grow out of clothes so fast), a shopping spree was not in the cards. But then I remembered the untapped trove of treasure in the form of clothes that I have buried away. Where is this treasure trove you ask? Is it on a desert island under a huge letter X? Although that would be kind of awesome (despite the lack of desert islands in my immediate vicinity), my treasure trove is buried in...my closet. Please note that scary music should really follow this sentence. Ah, my closet. It gets cleaned out and then somehow fills up again. While I am not on reality TV hoarder level, I do admit to being somewhat of a hoarder. But in this case, my hoarding tendency has paid off. When I lost weight before, I bought tons of clothes. Some of them are not even worn because sadly, some of the weight came back on pretty quickly. Unsurprising, since I took it off in such an unsustainable way that time. But because I am an optimist in addition to being a hoarder, I kept all of those clothes in the hopes that I would one day fit into them again. Anyway, I have finally reached that size again (never could have imagined saying that when I was 328 lbs)! My closet has become kind of a crazy mess since I started losing weight because when I outgrow clothes, I just toss them in there with the intention of going to a consignment shop with the barely worn ones. After 141 lbs of outgrown clothes, it has naturally become somewhat of a mess. I bravely dug in that closet and pulled out all those smaller clothes.

Trying on those outfits, I really understood why the people on Biggest Loser get so emotional when trying on new clothes. After all, on one hand, you could kind of be like, "What's the big deal? It's just clothes!" But as anyone who has had weight problems can tell you, it's not "just" clothes. When you're big, clothes are not fun. They just bring to mind millions of dressing room mirrors that showcase the fact that you don't look good in anything. It can honestly be kind of traumatizing at times. So to actually enjoy trying on these clothes, I can tell you that that was a major thing for me. It was really awesome to look in the mirror and think that I looked pretty.  It is so good for me to see the physical manifestation of the gigantic changes I have made inside and out. I have been thinking of a quote all week that my favorite Biggest Loser contestant, Tara Costa, said at her finale, that she was "becoming someone I wanted to be, but just never was." That's exactly how I feel too, that I am finally becoming the person that I have always felt like I was meant to be, the kind of person who not only is proud of how she looks, but a person who goes after what she wants and has the inner strength to make it happen. For one reason or another, I could just never seem to make it happen before.

However, what was not so awesome was the gigantic pile of outgrown clothes still lurking in that closet. I was hoping maybe a magical spring cleaning fairy would fold them up and sell them for me while I was trying on all the smaller stuff. Guess I will have to tackle that project today!