Monday, September 17, 2012

Shrinks in the dressing room: Something Target should have added along with all the mirrors

I think one area a lot of people don't think about before they lose weight is how much it costs to get new clothes. It's like you just focus on all the fabulous clothes you'll have once you hit your goal weight, and conveniently forget that there has to be a lot of clothes in between your fat clothes and thin clothes. Sadly, you do not just suddenly transform from one to the other, despite what those before and after pics may look like. I try to wear my in-between clothes as long as possible to save money, but when you pretty much lose the use of one hand to due to having to hold up your pants even though you are already wearing a belt, there is not really another option other than buying new pants. Except adopting a gangsta look. I mean, I love shopping as much as the next girl, but it is kind of sad to only get a month or so use out of clothes. Luckily, I do have some clothes saved from when I lost weight before, so that saves money, but I seem to have a bad habit of not pulling them out before they get too big. There have been several shirts I loved that I had from before that had gotten too small, and I pulled them out the other day only to discover they were now too big.

Anyway, shopping now is much more enjoyable. When you wear bigger sizes, it's really not much fun to shop. You kind of have to take whatever is available, not what you like or what looks good. Because really, nothing looked good when I was that heavy. It was more like, what makes me look the least bad. I remember one specific trip to Target that I took around a year ago. I got in the dressing room and tried on shirt after shirt. Not one of them fit and that was the biggest size they had in the regular department. Plus, Target had made the somewhat dubious decision to add A LOT of mirrors to their dressing rooms. I could then see my rolls not just once, but over and over again front and back. I felt so disgusted that I almost cried. I refused to shop in plus-size, so I just left with no clothes.

I went to Target again the other day. I grabbed shirt after shirt that I thought was cute. When I went in the dressing room, not one of them fit. But this time, it was because all of them were too big! I grabbed smaller sizes and went back. Now my problem was that it was hard to choose which shirt I liked best! I looked at myself in all those mirrors, and I felt pretty. I'm not saying I suddenly became a perfect physical specimen and was completely enamored with my astounding beauty and perfect body. There are still definitely trouble spots. It's not like I was blinded to them. But I am learning to give myself a break and really believe that even though I still have a ways to go, I can look good RIGHT NOW. Why should I wait until I am 132 lbs to feel like I am worth feeling pretty? So again in a Target dressing room (seriously, they may need to hire some psychologists to hang out in the dressing rooms in case of emotional breakdowns), I almost cried. But this time, it was because of realizing just how far I have come in a year.

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