Saturday, March 22, 2014

Progress pictures: The results of 21 months of literally running my butt off

I guess what I'm doing differently is working...I lost 2.8 lbs this week! Part of my brain is like, "Why are you excited about that? That's nothing." I guess this because even though I know it only makes sense that I lose much less weight in a week than when I was 160 lbs heavier, part of me still seems to be disappointed in anything less than a 7 or 8 lb loss. Stupid, I know. I'm trying to concentrate on the part of me that is  excited about a 2.8 lb loss. It is nice to see the scale moving again. I've been carb cycling, which hasn't been too difficult. I do need to figure out a way to get more calories in on my low carb days though because I keep coming up pretty short. You don't realize how many of your calories are from grains and starches until you can't eat them! I'm also doing great on strength training, although since it's been a while since I last did that, I'm feeling the pain from it. I made my high calorie day coincide with my mom's birthday so I could eat what I wanted when we went out to eat to celebrate. We went to Ruby Tuesday's and I had the salad bar and a buffalo chicken burger. It was really good, but weird too because I was so full when I finished. I used to eat that kind of meal all the time and it felt perfectly normal. But now even though it tasted good, I don't know if it was really worth it because I felt sluggish and like I had a rock in my stomach all the way into the next afternoon. I never used to realize how much food can affect how you feel physically, probably because since I ate crappy food all the time, I just felt like crap all the time normally.

So yesterday I decided to have some more progress pictures taken since it's been about 6 months since I last did it. I didn't really see the point at first since I haven't really lost any substantial weight since then, but I've had a few people tell me that they see a difference in how I look now. And it's true that I have lost some inches in those 6 months. I need to be better about celebrating these small victories. As always, my mom was a good sport and agreed to take a million pictures of me in her front yard, like she has this whole time. So with that said, here's my progress 21 months into my journey (okay, I know it sounds kind of cheesy to call it a journey, but I don't know what else to call it! I mean, "personal odyssey" sounds even stupider).

Well, okay first you know I have to start with a "before" pic...duh. This is from my Biggest Loser audition in July 2012, about 3 weeks after I started losing weight. I think I was about 310 lbs here, so I had lost almost 20 lbs.

I also wanted to share this other picture too, because I think it was so shocking to me that it was part of what helped me decide to start losing weight. It was taken in May 2012, and I have a distinct memory of looking at it and being really surprised. I knew that I had gained weight, but I didn't know that that was what I looked like. Pictures don't lie though (well, except in Photoshop). Feel free to admire my artistic skill too since I painted the picture I'm holding of my guinea pig, Captain Jack. Since I actually have no skills as a painter, I was surprised it turned out as good as it did.

And here are the pictures from yesterday:

I was pretty excited the wind was cooperating with my hair in this shot, since normally wind just causes me to look like I'm eating my hair.

I randomly decided I needed a picture of me on the ground, but when I told my mom that, I think she was picturing me lying on the ground like I was dead or something, which understandably made her confused. 

This is actually a picture of me trespassing, since this is a neighbor's swing. We knew they wouldn't mind though.

Sadly, daffodils were the only flower in bloom so far. I wish it was a little later in the spring because my mom has beautiful flower beds then.

This one was kind of a joke on senior pictures, i.e. "I love leaning on trees!"

Of course we have to have the jumping picture. My mom hasn't lost her touch!

This last one was actually kind of supposed to be a joke too. I was going for a fake seductive picture, but when I saw it on my camera I thought it looked like I was trying to punch myself in the head. This is typical for when I try to look in any way seductive. However, when I saw it on my computer, I thought it actually looked kind of pretty.

I had a certain way I wanted to look for these pictures, and that was at least a little hot. Because you know, leather jacket and knee-high boots. I mean, not like Angelina Jolie hot or something, but just a little hot, mainly because I never feel that way about myself. Let's just touch on the boots for a second because knee-high boots are something every former fat girl is excited about wearing since when you're fat, you can't begin to zip boots up over your calves. I was excited when I saw these pictures because I actually looked in the pictures like I thought I looked. I say this because when you're heavy, you usually put on an outfit and think it's going to look a certain way, and then it looks nothing like that. This outfit looked how I imagined it, which is a victory to me. And I feel kind of weird saying I think I look a little hot, but it's how I feel. Part of me thinks maybe that's arrogant, but the truth is that me being able to feel that way is a victory too. I spent the majority of my life hating how I looked, and even recently can usually just think I look decent in a picture, if that. So maybe this means my self-esteem is improving.

Anyway, I hope you like the pictures and can at least tell a little difference from 6 months ago. Hopefully in 3 months when I take my 2 year pictures, you will be able to see a difference from now!

1 comment:

  1. You absolutely crack me up :) Your sense of humor is amazing and makes reading your blog so much fun! I love the pictures and I too am amazing how fast I get full sometimes. For sure different when I could and would eat very large meals.

    You are doing awesome!!