Thursday, December 19, 2013

My iPod caused me to lose any modicum of self-respect

First of all, let's all pause to admire my use of the word "modicum" in the title. Not only is my blog entertaining, it also helps increase your vocabulary! Well, sometimes. This past week, I had an extremely traumatic event in my life. Well, maybe "extremely traumatic" is a bit of an exaggeration, but it was quite upsetting. Brace yourselves: I almost lost my beloved iPod at the gym. Now if you don't know how much my iPod means to me, you may scoff (good word!) at my panic. Seriously, no exaggeration here, I cannot work out without music. Like it's so bad that if I go to the gym and discover I left my iPod at home, I drive all the way home and go get it. And if my battery is dead, I wait to work out until it's charged.

So anyway, I had done part 1 of my cardio and went to the locker room to drink some water before strength training. I meant to put my iPod in my locker (because for some reason I don't like music when strength training), and instead absent-mindedly left it sitting on the bench. I do my my strength training, and return to the locker room later and discover my iPod is not in my locker. I look again...still not there!!! At this point I am beginning to freak out. I never do well when I lose things because I get so worked up that I'm not very effective looking for whatever I lost and end up looking like a deranged idiot. Case in point, instead of first going up to the front desk and asking if someone turned in an iPod like a normal person, I begin frantically searching the locker room looking like afore-mentioned deranged idiot. I'm not proud of this, but I got it into my head that I may have accidentally thrown the iPod away so I dug around piece by piece in the trash can. Yes, I seriously, without even a second thought, dug around in a gross gym locker room trash can. You can see how deeply my dedication runs. At this point, after witnessing both my frantic search of the locker room and the trash can,  the other woman in the room with me is looking at me like I might be slightly crazy and/or dangerous. I have enough presence of mind to feel slightly ashamed of myself, embarrassed that my iPod compulsion has driven me to such behavior. After that disgusting experience, I finally got the bright idea to see if anyone turned in an iPod at the front desk. Miracle of miracles, someone was honest enough to turn it in! I tried to act like I was merely grateful to have found it, instead of practically delirious with my heart beating out of my chest. I mean, I do have some pride.

So in honor of finding my iPod (or maybe just because I feel like it), I would like to share a few of my favorite work-out songs for the past few months. Some of them I like because they have a good beat and others because of the lyrics. Be warned; there are some cheesy songs here. I really don't care, because when you run as many miles as I do, you do what it takes to keep going one more step. And if what keeps me going is "I Touch Myself," well, that's just the way it is. Just kidding, that song isn't on my playlist, although I did apparently download that song once for an unknown reason. So without further adieu:
  • What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger) by Kelly Clarkson: Duh. Kind of an obvious choice if you know me at all. Although sometimes I wonder if working out may actually kill me one day. 
  • Girl on Fire by Alicia Keys: Not the greatest beat for working out, but love the lyrics!
  • Never Say Never by Justin Bieber: Yes, I am embarrassed by this choice. Justin Bieber is truly a douchebag, but what can I say? Great beat, and I love the message of the song.
  • Chances  by Five for Fighting: Kind of slow to work out to, but good for warm-up or cool-down. Who hasn't needed a second chance at one time or another?
  • How You Like Me Now by The Heavy: Random choice after all the pop, but I heard this song and it made me feel bad-ass for some reason. 
  • Brand New Book by Train: This was the theme song on The Biggest Loser a couple years ago, and I really love the lyrics. The only problem is that it doesn't speed up till 51 seconds (yes, I do know exactly how long) into the song so I have to time my running accordingly. 
  • Scream by Usher: So this is my go-to ending song when I'm really trying to push hard. Unfortunately, I failed to really listen to the lyrics for months and realize what this song is actually about. Let's just say Usher and I had two very different types of screaming in mind. 
  • Roar by Katy Perry: Another obvious choice. Love the song, though the music video is somewhat confusing to me. Saying you've "got the eye of the tiger" does not mean you have to pretend you are in the vicinity of a real tiger and his eye. 
  • Applause  by Lady Gaga: I actually hated this song at first, and still do hate the message. Seriously, what kind of message is "I live for the applause?" Terrible! Sounds like a "Stars Gone Wrong" E! special waiting to happen. But I love the beat and the song grew on me after seeing the weird Kia hamster commercial 10 million times. 
My playlist actually has around 120 songs right now, but I didn't figure you would appreciate commentary on all of them. And yes, I do realize I am a Top 40 Hits cliche. I'm always in search of new songs though, so let me know if you have any I should check out!

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